Rewind

Who did these assholes think they were, asking me about my personal business? I wasn’t one bit amused by any of this bullshit. Some dumb little tramp got my dick sick. I’ll slit her throat when I figure out which one it was. What kind of bullshit was this, anyway? Why did they need to know how many bitches I’ve bagged? Fuck them, I just made one up.

I wasn’t telling these assholes any more than I had to. How the hell was I supposed to know which little bitch was actually a dirty whore? Did they really expect me to keep up with this? I don't do relationships, waste of my time when all I have to do is slip a little something in a drink, then anyone I want is mine for the night. I like it when they take their tops off and try to play my drums, and I have a camera in the kit so I can watch them at my leisure. My favorite is when one asks me to show her, then gets on her knees in front of me. Man, what a rush. Joe gives me shit about it, and, once, I accidentally slipped one to Mike, but that's on him for drinking girl drinks, and he got laid that night, so it's all good, even if he doesn't remember.

A dude with a clipboard called me back into the torture chamber to pee in the cup and get the face-melting exam. They gave me a lecture that I didn't listen to and a bunch of condoms I'll never use. If I can't raw dog it, I'm not hitting it.

Tom Testino

Follow this link back to the main story and scroll down to the line of books:

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖