The Second Time Is Always Bigger: 6 Stages of Finding Yourself

My path is a path only I could carry.

I was born abandoned. But I received a love that was bigger than any beginning. My childhood was not a wound — it was a gift.

I wasn't accepted into the college in the city I thought was mine. So I went further. Bigger. Further. And I finished there.

I didn't find a job in my hometown. So I packed my dreams and went where more was waiting for me.

I couldn't forgive a betrayal. So I left. And found a love I had dreamed of my whole life.

I published my first books and was robbed. They didn't just take my money — they took my illusion. So I took myself. I built a blog. And in six months, I published three books in three languages via Amazon KDP.

Everything I lost the first time came back to me the second time — bigger, clearer, more beautiful.

That is why I don't get upset when something doesn't work out.

Because my life has taught me one thing: if a door closes, there is a hallway behind it leading to a larger space.

For me, the second time always brings more.

This is the geology of my soul, layer by layer.

1. The First Time Broke Me

The first time, I believed it was the only way.

When they left me, I thought it was the end. But it was the beginning of a love that taught me what home means.

When I wasn't accepted, I thought I wasn't enough. But I was just being directed to a bigger place.

When I lost my marriage, I thought my heart broke forever. But it was just freeing itself for the love it deserves.

When they took my first books, I thought they took my dreams. But they actually took my fear of creating alone.

The first time broke me — because I didn't know.

The second time shaped me — because now I know.

I am not afraid of closed doors. I know that behind them waits a space bigger than my fear. For me, the second time doesn't just bring a new opportunity. It brings a new me.

2. The Third Time: My Choice

The first time broke me. The second time shaped me. The third time was mine.

The third time, I didn't wait for someone to leave me — I chose who stays.

I didn't wait to be rejected — I knocked on doors that were bigger than my fear.

I didn't wait for them to take my dreams — I built them myself, brick by brick, word by word.

The third time wasn't easier. It was more conscious.

Because I was no longer looking for rescue. I was looking for growth.

The third time, I didn't hope it would be better.

I knew I would make it better.

And that is the difference.

The first time was destiny. The second time was a lesson. The third time was — me.

3. The Fourth Time: Peace

The first time broke me. The second shaped me. The third I chose.

The fourth time — I no longer chase.

I do not prove. I do not explain. I do not fight to be accepted.

If the door remains closed, I do not bang on it. I turn around.

If they don't see me, I don't raise my voice. I just go where my value is seen.

The fourth time, I am not stronger because I am harder.

I am stronger because I am calm.

I know who I am. I know what I carry. And I know I don't have to run after what is already mine.

The first time was pain. The second was growth. The third was choice. The fourth is — peace with myself.

4. The Fifth Time: Changing the Rules

The first time broke me. The second shaped me. The third I chose. The fourth I found peace.

The fifth time — I changed the rules.

I do not prove. I do not wait. I do not react to other people's moves.

I do not enter games where I have to shrink to be accepted.

I do not explain my value to those who measure it with the wrong yardstick.

The fifth time I realized — not every battle is mine.

Not every call is worth my answer.

Not every space is worth my presence.

And that is why I choose silence when others choose noise.

I choose growth when others choose competition.

I choose myself without the need to announce it.

The fifth time is not louder. It is higher.

And there, there is no need for proving.

5. The Sixth Time: Just Living

The first time broke me. The second shaped me. The third I chose. The fourth I found peace. The fifth I changed the rules.

The sixth time — I no longer count.

I don't measure how much I've grown.

I don't go back to check how broken I was.

I don't sum up victories.

I just live.

I do what I love.

I love without fear.

I leave without noise.

I stay without doubt.

I no longer ask why something happened.

Because I know — whatever comes, has come to move me to where I already belong.

The sixth time is not a new version of me.

It is me — without proving, without fighting, without announcement.

Just me.

Magma Star.

Originally published on my bilingual blog Magma Star. If this cycle of growth resonated with you, I would be honored if you shared it.